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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the human cannonball? First day on the job, he was fired."

"I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet. I had to do hand stands in the shower."

"WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula."

"How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed? Just wait. They'll tell you."

"What's the difference between ""for free"" and ""for nothing"" I went to school for free, you went to school for nothing."

"Why does Hellen Keller use two hands for masturbation? One to masturbate, one to moan."

"How do you make a whore moan? You don't pay her."

"My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry."

"Lil wayne becomes a comedian... Lol wayne"

"What do you call a black man on the ISS? An astronaut."