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Joke of the Day

"Me: Yeah like that, baby. Him: *caresses my back, plays with my hair* Me: *moans* Him: *growls* I'm gonna do so many-- Me: *snores, drools*"

"Hey guys keep up the ""Bush did 9/11"" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears"

"What do you call a slutty UPS driver? A mail escort"

"I am the King of the Universe and I have a son and he occasionally appears on grilled-cheese sandwiches. #yup"

"What do you call a group of brain surgeons? A neural network."

"Don't let... ...an extra chromosome get you down."

"You guys know that dude Jesus? Yeah, I heard he was a real thorn in the Romans' side"

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution."

"Black Jesus. Went to jail for you"

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I'll give these two a lift. Edit: Someone didn't like the word guys in it"