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Joke of the Day

"The first gay wedding will be taking place in Ireland next week The men's names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"What do you call someone who comes second in a long-distance boat race? An immigrant"

"just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes. (sorry if repost)"

"A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thought... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""

"What kind of underwear does John Grisham use? Pelican Briefs I'll go find a bridge"

"He died doing what he loved: meeting people on Craigslist to buy furniture."

"Surely there's a 3rd option. Can't i just walk home? That can't be my only two choices? Ride or DIE? Seems a bit extreme."

"What's Mark Zuckerberg's favorite sex move? The facial. He wrote the book on it."

"how many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh TEN TICKLES AHAHAHHAHAHAHA this is my favorite joke"