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Joke of the Day

"Hope is a single man's game... A married man can't get none ""I hope she ain't mad"" she is. ""I hope I get head tonight"" you won't. ""I hope I'm not in trouble"" you are."

"A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, ""Welcome to our hotel. You look down."" The photon says, ""You can see that, yes."""

"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A Tire."

"Sex is like air; its not important unless you arent getting any."

"Happiness is like peeing in your pants ...everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."

"If I have 5 apples and Jamal take 3, what color is Jamal? Admit it, you're a fucking racist!"

"Wife: Our daughter lied to me. Me: What did I tell you about telling the truth? 5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers."

"There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know... 2)"

"Why could Thor's daughter never try anal? Because her father was an Ass-guardian. Ba dum tussss.."

"I'll follow my girlfriend into the bathroom watch her close the toilet door, and then ask, ""What are you doing?"""