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Joke of the Day

"I once dumped a cross eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else%3ss eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else"

"What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock? A Nokia"

"This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said ""No thanks I'll walk"""

"Five swedish men in a pool The swedes were swimming and suddenly a condom popped to the surface of the water. Directly one of the mans asks: ""who farted?"""

"Two fish in a tank.. The one fish looks at the other and says ''How do you drive this thing?''"

"At geography class Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him: - Where's England, Jon? He proudly answers: - Page 83."

"I was walking in a chemistry lab. I tripped on some acid."

"Why did the doctor kick his patients? He was trying to heel them."

"""Surely EVERYONE pisses in the shower?"" I protest as I'm dragged out of Ikea"

"I've got two tickets to paradise and a they're both obstructed view."