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Joke of the Day

"This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said ""No thanks I'll walk"""

"Life is like toilet paper you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"Now I'm not saying you're old... but if you were milk I'd smell you before pouring you on my cereal."

"The most important thing about telling a joke is timing"

"How to cool the craze for transgender surgery Install an irregular period with each new vagina and an enlarged prostate with each new penis"

"Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid? He was told not to play with his food."

"I'm a trustworthy friend. Count on me to tell you when our relationship is over."

"Getting married next week I told my fiance I'll set a date the day I see the Queen jump out of a helicopter."

"4 words. 5 syllables. Easy to say. Hard to prove. ''I am a zebra.''"

"So what do Islam and Subway Sandwich Shop have in common? A: They both had a pedophile spokesman. http://www.citizenliberty.com/2015/11/so-what-do-islam-and-subway-common.html"