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Joke of the Day

"I found Jesus last week... My garden has never looked nicer."

"Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together? Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!"

"'Expect the unexpected' Now that would make the unexpected the expected, but since the expected is being expected, then that would mean it wasn't the unexpected, so what the fuck do we expect?"

"What do you call someone who has discovered nirvana? A Buddhist Or a Teenager who thinks they are now greater than everyone else Older people might not feel this joke"

"What is a Mexicans favorite band? Hispanic at the Disco"

"[around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI"

"*job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form"

"Cinderella & Clark Kent would be a fun couple. Any time she took off her shoe or he took off his glasses, it'd be: ""Who the hell are you?!"""

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"What did the web designer do when a hot girl walked up to him and squeezed his nuts? He AJAXulated."