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Joke of the Day

"Grandma, if you're looking down on me right now - close your eyes for a few minutes."

"The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid."

"What do you call a baby born at 4 months gestation? Doesn't matter, still born."

"What do rodents say when they play bingo ? 'Eyes down for a full mouse' !"

"What's the best thing about twenty three year old's? [They're of age.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZg3-Y1QIc4)"

"My longest relationship was when an Uber driver took me all the way to the airport once."

"Why are lesbians always low on cash? Because they're constantly eating out!"

"The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week. And those were faked with 1960s technology."

"Staring at large boobs makes you better at multi-tasking. It demonstrates you can concentrate on two things at once."

"In the 50's the pot called the kettle a different word."