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Joke of the Day

"How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission."

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"What does a storm cloud have on beneath its clothes? Thunderwear!"
"ME: [at a party] hey! wanna come back to my place and- GIRL: hook up? sure! ME: [sadly putting away two Yu-Gi-Oh! decks] oh. awesome"
"The inventor of knock knock jokes should win a no-bell prize."
"It's uncomfortable talking about how i got my cat fixed last week... But sometimes you gotta call a spayed a spayed"
"My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, ""Big pee pee!"" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on."
"A magician was walking down the street ...and turned into a grocery store."
"JESUS: hey check this oute [turns my water into wine] ME: woa!! thanks jesus JESUS: [grabs wine out of my hands] NO!! THIS IS MY BLOOD NOW"
"I got caught taking a piss in the swimming pool earlier... The lifeguard shouted so loudly that I nearly fell in!"
"CNN just said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who the f*ck does the world owe? Jupiter?"