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Joke of the Day

"Grandmother: ""So what is Skype?"" *Explains in great detail on how it works* ""So do I need a computer for it?"" ""I JUST...how's your cat?"""

"How to get a job... Interviewer: ""What's your biggest weakness?"" Interviewee: ""I never learn from my mistakes"" Interviewer: ""Oh, why's that?"" Interviewee: ""I never make any"""

"My dog got hit by a train today & we found out my brother didn't make parole. Talk about a case of the Mondays!!"

"TIL there is a nerve that runs from the tear duct to the anus. If you don't believe me, let me pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye."

"Q: Why don't matches play baseball? A: One strike, and they're out."

"Proper punctuation... Proper punctuation is the difference between ""helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse"" and ""helping your uncle jack off a horse"" It's a classic, but a good one"

"ALL OF THE ANIMALS ARE TALKING THIS IS THE BEST ACID EVER LOL -Dr. Dolittle"

"Why is fruit so expensive? I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus."

"People say you are what you eat... So you're a dick."

"25 more pounds to lose and I'll be ready to be seen at my gym."