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Joke of the Day

"The pet groomer didn't appreciate the 10 dollar bill I slid across the table to give my dog the ""happy ending""."

"If you hold the door open for me when I'm more than ten feet away, you aren't doing me a favor. You're making me exercise."

"Oh, Ed! They should come up with something like Uber, but with horseback riding... Maybe call it Wilbur?"

"If the main character of ""The Walking Dead "" spared every human, would he be called... ... Pacifist Rick ?"

"Did you blow Bubbles when you were a kid? well he is back in town, wants you to hook up."

"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."

"What do you call a lost nun? A Roman Catholic"

"Mobius strippers... never show their backside."

"[I see a cute girl reading a novel] ""Hi there. I couldn't help but notice-"" *points at book* ""That you support the murder of trees."""

"What do you call an all Sikh band? N'Singh."