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Joke of the Day

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee, you racist bastard."

"[Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks."

"Why did the Amish girl get kicked out of the community? Too Mennonite."

"Your momma is so fat She uses ""panorama"" mode for her selfies."

"Why did the snowman pull down his pants? Because he saw the snowblower coming"

"Why did the fish fall off it's bike? It's a fish."

"What is a double-wide salad? It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad"

"Sarcasm is truly the most significant force in the world. Seriously, where would we be without sarcasm?"

"There are two muffins in an oven. The one muffin says to the other one, ""Woah, a silent muffin!"""

"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."