28764

Joke of the Day

"I'm pretty gullible Or at least what they tell me"

"I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face."

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"Which fraternity was George Lucas in during College? Psi Phi."

"If getting drunk and eating pizza rolls is wrong then maybe I don't fully comprehend how a kindergarten open house actually works."

"We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food ""Are you nuts?"" Dear God"

"What is the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak"

"Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"*at interview* Him: What would you say are your strengths? Me: Words Him: Can you say more? Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions"

"[throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] ""HEY! NO LITERING--"" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]"