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Joke of the Day

"LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife is dead."

"Why don't nuns fear getting raped? Because they know it is tough to get into the habit."

"For the first time in forever, I used the term ""oopsie-daisy"". Couldnt be avoided. I mean what else do you say when you drop someone's baby?"

"What is Santa's favorite music? Wrap! (I came up with this when i was 8....)"

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a tribe of pygmies? He tribe of pygmies is a cunning bunch of runts."

"My grocery store changed its whole layout. It was better the other way so I'm slowly and quietly moving everything back."

"How do you say constipated in german? Farhfrumpoopin'."

"The iPhone 8 probably won't even have a phone in it."

"What sound was made when a water truck collided with a vinegar truck? DOUCHE!!!"