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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my wine... 18 years old and locked in my basement"

"My ""Savings Account"" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets."

"Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?"

"What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and rape? I can't remember."

"9/11 knock knock *Knock Knock.* Who's there? *9/11* 9/11 who? *You said you'd never forget.*"

"I'm on the fence about Hitler On one hand he killed 6 million Jews. On the other hand he did kill Hitler"

"Why did the Mexican push his wife of the cliff ? Tequila"

"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*"

"I own 2 types of fossilised animal excrement I'm a shit collector."

"Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights."