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Joke of the Day
"Why did the vacuum get a raise? Because it sucked at its job."
Next Joke
"Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool? Because they kept dropping their trunks...."
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer? One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'"
"""Why do rednecks act like such morons?'' ""Who says they're acting?"""
"How do fireflies lose weight? They burn calories."
"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."
"Finally my winter fat is gone... Now I have spring rolls."
"5 minutes into watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory and I'm craving chocolate This is why I can't watch breaking bad"
"Whats up r/jokes? Not march."
"I'm Japanese. I took my Viagra this morning. .. Now I'm ready for erection day."