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Joke of the Day

"JEDI WHO INVENTED LIGHTSABER: ok its a destructive laser sword so maybe we shoudnt wear anythig too flowy JEDI IN CHARGE OF COSTUMES: ...OORR"

"Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I will tell you later. SOURCE: Heard it on the subway"

"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."

"How did the massage therapist lose all of his customers? He rubbed them all the wrong way"

"What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives? a peasantfeeling"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck it's dick."

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"13 Types of Regret You'll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won't Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline"

"Why so Mexicans have red eyes after Sex?! Pepperspray..."