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Joke of the Day

"Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down."

"that stage of not showering where you develop a sort of detached, clinical interest in how bad you smell & seeing how much worse it can get"

"My girlfriend took me bra shopping It was an uplifting experience"

"The difference between Indiana and California In Indiana there are lots of budding young farmers. In California there are lots of young bud farmers."

"I like to make up little activities to keep the kids busy, such as ""Go out and find $1000 by midnight or we're gonna lose the house!"""

"What's a great dating app for pedophiles? Tindergarden"

"A shampoo manufacturer had an accident. ..he suffered injuries to his head and shoulders."

"How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? ""A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"" !"

"Knock-Knock [pic]"

"Are you a geologist? You can analyse my rocks anytime ;)"