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Joke of the Day

"Why was the picture acquitted of the charge for murder? Because it was framed."

"I'm really good at making women laugh out loud When they see me naked for the first time..."

"For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes."

"A man walks into a bar... ""Ouch!"""

"[Eating unhealthy potato at restaurant] Cop: You're under arrest. Me: What's the charge? [Lowers sunglasses] Cop: a salt and buttery."

"""Hey. You sleeping? No? Whatcha thinkin about? Hey. Did you hear me? Hey. Hey. Ok. You're boring. I'm leaving... Jk I'm back. Hey"" - Birds"

"Finish this sentence: I like my coffee like I like my _____. I like my coffee like I like my coffee: recursive."

"See if this carries thru in txt 1)Knock knock. 2)Who's there? 1)Interrupting chicken. 2)Inter.. 1)..BUK BKOCK!!!!"

"I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour... The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2 (Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)"

"My Uncle was fired for sleeping with one of his patients... The worst part is that he's a veterinarian. Lol just kidding, he's a pediatrician."