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Joke of the Day
"Wanna get together and test the spring potential of my mattress?"
Next Joke
"Things to avoid in conversation: religous beliefs , world affairs, and politics. Welcome to Reddit! : D"
"Life is stupid. You can ACCIDENTALLY make a baby but you can't ACCIDENTALLY make a cake."
"""911 what's your emergency?"" ""Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees."" *sighs* ""Please hold for the president."""
"Why was the old Jewish woman afraid her chauffeur got her pregnant? Because they schlepped together."
"Mum thinks she's Dad. **Dad:** Honey, where oh where is a pair of my underwear? **Mum:** Your underwear is under there. **Dad:** Under where? **Mum:** Yes."
"Whats hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before.... A Key"
"Why does Noddy wear a giant red hat with a yellow tinkling bell on the end of it? Because he's a cunt."
"Idea: a hat store called ""ALL CAPS"" where the salespeople yell at you the entire time."
"Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza."