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Joke of the Day

"If Last Names Often Come From Ancestors' Professions... Then what the fuck was wrong with Bruce Dickinson's family?"

"What did the daddy salt say to his son? ""Stop cracking your NaCles."""

"What do you call a know-it-all that likes doing bad stuff to kids? Encyclopedophile"

"Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here."

"What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack."

"I was going to make a gay joke. Butt fuck it, that's not cool. Cum on guys."

"The opposite of Thanksgiving leftovers is Thanksgiving rightunders. I'm so sorry"

"Has anybody ever noticed that you can get salmonella from chicken...but not chickenmonella from salmon?"

"If I had a dollar If i had a dollar for every time a homeless guy asked me for money, I still wouldn't give him any."

"Me to dad:i'll call u later Dad:don't call me later call me dad"