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Joke of the Day

"What did the the dad say to the feminist? Hugh Mungus"

"Sorry I threw rice at the coffin. I don't get invited to much."

"Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. ""Why's that?"" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog."

"I hate it when a bar of soap gets visibly dirty. I want to clean it, but down that road lies madness."

"""Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be."" ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator"

"Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an ""alternative romantic."""

"I used the toilet just after my wife and noticed that her shit really does smell of roses. Hardly surprising. She's polished off four tins of the fuckers in the last two days"

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? At the circus you see cunning stunts."

"Why were the camels wearing sandals? To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand? To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on."

"What do romantic fish sing to each other? Salmon-chanted evening !"