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Joke of the Day
"Why are atheists so light? They have no mass."
Next Joke
"If someone from New Jersey bites you, are you from New Jersey?"
"I hear China makes some high-quality wine... ...people have been raving about the Grape of Nanking."
"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has never been in a relationship apparently."
"ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT TAYLOR SWIFT: Aw here are some band aids ME: THOSE DON'T FIX BULLETHOLES TS: *picks up guitar* ...brb ME: I'M STILL DYING"
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets."
"New Zealand cricket"
"i don't think i'll ever get the recognition i deserve for being the world's biggest pessimistic narcissist"
"Why do they even bother having different brands of milk?"
"Ebola gives new meaning to the phrase 'Eat Shit and Die.' Credit to my brother for coming up with that one!"