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Joke of the Day

"If someone from New Jersey bites you, are you from New Jersey?"

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"What were the last words of the Mayor of Hiroshima? ""What the fuck was tha . . ."""
"Teacher : Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes. Pupil : We're not passing notes. We're playing cards !"
"I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young."
"What is the difference between a whore and a bitch? A whore will have sex with anybody, a bitch will have sex with anybody except you."
"Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M; factory? A: Proof-reading."
"If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die."
"Now then - what's an oxymoron?"
"How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I've just had six and I feel terrible."
"I just used the messiest urinal... If you ever see the model ""Dyson Airblade"" just go use a regular toilet. If you'll excuse me, I need a shower."