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Joke of the Day

"I have an eating disorder. I'm about to eat dis order of pizza, dis order of fries and dis order of nuggets."

"A boy goes to the drug store to buy some condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks him 'No', the boy says, 'she isn't *that* ugly'"

"What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved? Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple...."

"December 1 is the biggest day in the plumbing business as millions of ill-prepared men shave their mustaches over a sink"

"I had to neuter my dog today... his name was Bruce but now I call him Caitlyn."

"What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle."

"If you need someone who is good at looking into a full fridge and complaining that there's nothing to eat, I'm your Mayor!"

"A woman asked me for a German method of coal extraction... And mein shaft she got"

"Want to hear a clean joke? A man takes a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man"

"What do you call the bad part of Italy? The spaghetto."