27782

Joke of the Day

"I have an eating disorder. I'm about to eat dis order of pizza, dis order of fries and dis order of nuggets."

"My dick was once in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"I think we could significantly cut down the number of different pasta shapes and still be okay."

"I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board"

"What's heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? Your mother."

"What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up? ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""

"I tried uploading my sex tape to PornHub. They told me to try Vine."

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."

"Yesterday I met a pirate that wouldn't stop telling me about his age. Aye matey."