27768

Joke of the Day

"Have any of you realized that the self checkout has the sexiest cashier's?"

"I have a beta fish named Carl He's a real lady killer!"

"A man gets pulled over, the officer says to him ""How high are you?"" The man replies, ""No officer it's 'hi, how are you?'"""

"LGBT should rename themselves BLTG. It's more tasteful."

"I'm a necrophiliac... ...but my friends seem to be cool about it"

"I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese"

"Interviewer: Your resume only has ""Mad"" under ""Skills"" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway."

"What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch? Namaste (better to say it aloud)"

"So I was eating out my Grandma... and I tasted horse cum. And I thought to myself, ""Is that how she died?!"""

"Story of my life Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."