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Joke of the Day

"Have any of you realized that the self checkout has the sexiest cashier's?"

"Dear President of Mexico, DO NOT fall for Trump's old trick where he mumbles ""guypayingtobuildthewallsayswhat?"" and you say ""What?"""

"Who is Chu? And why do no rappers fuck with him?"

"The life of a Dick. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door."

"What do you call a potato that's high? [A baked potato.](http://www.spudstravels.com/Travel%20Archive/Caribbean/Jamaica_images/Cannabis%20-%20close.jpg)"

"I was awake all night 'cause my neighbor was listening to dubstep... ...and I was lying there, waiting for the other beat to drop."

"My version of cyber-bullying is running around inside a Starbucks slamming people's laptops shut."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar"