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Joke of the Day

"I saved $38 by moving the fish tank in front of the TV during ""Ellen"" and telling my kids it was Finding Dory."

"What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't? A bellybutton!"

"He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up."

"16 Sodium atoms walked into a bar followed by Batman"

"How many 1980s R & B divas does it take to fix a broken lightbulb? Just one, but they fix the crack by torchlight"

"A joke my girlfriend came up with today... ""Can you let me out the basement for 5 minutes?"""

"not doing the peanut butter and the penis trick with the dog anymore. My son caught me and wants to know why my face is in the dog's crotch"

"I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either"

"Conversations with my pets: Me: Please could you Dog: OF COURSE! Me: I haven't said what it Dog: I LOVE YOU! Me: Please could you Cat: No."

"Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos."