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Joke of the Day

"What does Matthew Shephard hate more than being raped, having AIDS, and being pistol whipped? Camping."

"How do you throw a party in Nigeria? You stick a piece of bread to the ceiling"

"I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name... I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name Of Cleopatra, I straightaway laid claim. Ahead of my legions, she conquered my regions, I saw, I conquered, I came."

"All of my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap."

"If attacked by a mob of clowns... Go for the juggler."

"If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world."

"What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Whats the difference between My computer and Paul Walker? I give a Fuck when my computer crashes"

"Two peanuts walking down the street... one gets *assaulted*."

"TIL that it is difficult to be a good person as there is only so small a distance between an asshole and a pussy."