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Joke of the Day

"hoarder on TV: pls help me doc therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we'll take them to my car"

"My dog ate a bunch of tissues yesterday. Looks like his ass is going to wipe itself for awhile."

"On average, how many people are dead in a cemetery? All of them."

"Why can't Hillary Clinton be called a female? Because she deleted the emale."

"Blizzards are like sex it's really fun while it's happening but afterwards there's a lot of white stuff laying around that no one knows what to do with"

"I owe my life to Nickelback I got in a horrible car crash and was in 6 month coma. Then the nurse switched the song to Nickelback. I woke up and muted it."

"I shouldn't have agreed to be a cowboy's target dummy for lasso throwing practice. How did I get roped into this?"

"What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade."

"How do you get a free flight at an airport? Take the stairs."

"Apparently, Engineers talk how Doctors write"