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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jon Snow go to The Apple Store? For the Watch."

"Why do you always see Santa with a full sack? Because he only comes once a year!"

"Somebody broke into my house yesterday, and stole all my lamps. I was delighted."

"I blow, but I don't swallow. I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I? I am a flag."

"What do a hippie-chick and a hockey player have in common? Both don't shower until after 3 periods."

"What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland? It Netherlands."

"Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes? In the Walken closet."

"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."

"What do you call a tight butthole? a noose"

"[During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!"