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Joke of the Day

"I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith."

"What do they do when the Queen has a baby? Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby? Fire the dirty old Canon."

"A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions. It might be an outdated study though."

"What do women and condoms have in common? They spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? They're old, promise you free shit and are red!"

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in the kitty !"

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so...) Knock knock *Who's there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) :P"

"What do you call lesbian eskimos? Klondykes"

"Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep."