2701
Joke of the Day
"How do you know someone is a Bernie Sanders supporter? Don't worry, he'll fucking tell you."
Next Joke
"If she calls me cheap one more time I'm gonna return her anniversary gift to 7/11."
"What do you call a cassette single of The Proclaimers' hit ""I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)""? Scotch tape."
"It's Saturday! Go for a walk! Pay your bills! Take up smoking! Shave a loved one! Steal a baby!"
"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"
"WHITE BITCHES: stop flipping your hair into people. Be aware of yourself in space."
"I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday."
"Syria is wherever the Syrians are in Europe"
"How many possibilities does a man with no arms and legs have? Limbitless"
"What does IRE-1 say to XBP1 mRNA? Prepare to get RIDD of your intron."