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Joke of the Day

"When the hostess at the restaurant says ""table for two?"", I always like to look surprised and whisper ""you can see her too?""."

"What do you call an explosion in a Frencg kitchen? Linoleum Blown-apart."

"So I got kicked out of the library the other day... For moving all the women's rights books to the fiction section."

"Welcome to the church of vegetables... Lettuce pray."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club."

"When you aren't sure what somebody said so you just smile and hope it wasn't a question."

"Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?.... because they cant find the point."

"What does Donald Trump call a hundred dollar bill? Trump change"

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

"What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread? It's stalemate"