26887
Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross and owl and a bungie cord? . . . . . . . . . . ...My ass"
Next Joke
"How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good."
"What do vegetables watch when they're horny? Corn"
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... ...one turns to the other and says, ""Wow, I can't believe I blew 50 bucks in there."""
"Me: Is there alcohol in this? Barista: ... No ma'am. Me: Can there be?"
"After handing a girl my mixtape I asked her if she was ready for TOTAL AURAL SATISFACTION not realizing what it had sounded like."
"Did you hear why the Quartz is divorcing her husband? She says he took her for Granite"
"What time did Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Ten-ish."
"use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail"
"Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world?"