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Joke of the Day

"I hate the word ""chicks"". Can we politely call them LADIES. Women, please.. Ladies nuts on your chin ;)))))))"

"An Egg and a Chicken were having sex... But which came first? - Took this title from someone but changed the punchline."

"How do you start making big bucks? With a little doe"

"How do turtles communicate? With shell phones."

"I've been watching ISIS movements via UAV for the past week They seem to beheading in the right direction"

"1. Read directions on box. 2. Throw box away. 3. Pull box out of the trash 15 seconds later. 4. Repeat."

"Wife [walking into house]: Ummm.. Me: [recreating ""You Better Shape Up Scene"" from Grease with my dog dressed as Sandy]: You're home early."

"I keep fixing my door every time my British friend leaves He always brexit."

"What do you call a gay Nobel Prize Laureate in a blender? A homogeneous mixture."

"A hug is basically a mini hostage situation."