200600

Joke of the Day

"Why do blonds have schools underwater. Because deep down, they're not so stupid."

"The Commonwealth Games: For when you can't win an Olympic medal."

"I tried to learn how to drive a stick shift but I couldn't locate the manual."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel in the front of his pants. The bartender asks ""isn't that bothering you?"" The pirate replies ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"@funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men."

"Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police."

"Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone"

"I hate how survivors leave the zombies they kill wherever they fall. I'm not sentimental. I'm just sick of tripping over them."

"Anything can be sexual If you think about it long and hard enough."

"Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister. believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower."