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Joke of the Day

"So this morning my fiance rolls over and says ,""honey I think I have a fever this morning."" To which I reply, ""pics or didn't happen."""

"What did the depressed terrorist say to the passengers on the plane he hijacked? I'm sorry to bring you all down."

"This is joyous. Go to any YouTube video. Pause it. Click anywhere outside the video and then type 1980. Now defend yourself."

"Why cant some one stay straight while playing hide n seek in IKEA?... ...cuz they'll have to come out of the closet at some point."

"I can't believe I didn't get an Oscar nomination for my performance in, ""No, I never got your text!"""

"Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me? Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!"

"Here's another pizza delivery joke Actually, you'll get it in 30-45 minutes."

"PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people."

"A chicken & an egg are in bed together. The chicken lights up a cigarette, turns to the egg & says 'Well I guess that answers THAT question!'"

"Why are eagles so hard to find? They're always in diskies"