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Joke of the Day

"Oh you sneaky little bastard! [Link to the joke.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3ei9ie/the_best_joke_i_know/)"

"put this tweet on the news"

"iOS 6 to present black screen with a big blinking ""NO!"" anytime someone tries to shoot video in portrait mode."

"What did one hash brownie say to the other? We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other."

"Give me your best 'Yo Momma' jokes. Yo momma's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm for different timezones! Yo momma's so fat, she is on BOTH sides of the family! EDIT: Grammar..."

"[David Attenborough narrating my life] Once again the young offspring attempts to leave the nest. Once again he has flown into a wall"

"They say 1 in 3 men are gay. I'm not gay, he's not gay..."

"I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty."

"Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist? Because they won't believe it."

"Everybody thinks I am a psychopath... but I don't care what they think."