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Joke of the Day

"Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!"

"Why does Santa have a garden? So he can hoe-hoe-hoe! ^^^^^That's_a_knee_slapper..."

"[bono dressed as magician] ""think of a song any song"" purple haze ""right n- no, a U2 song"" oh ok um.. elevation? ""ok now.. check your phone"""

"let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig's wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,"

"What type of candy bar does Snake eat? Snake-kers (Snickers)"

"The best thing about a blowjob... ... is the 15 minutes of silence."

"Injections are just like your wedding night A little prick and then it's all over"

"What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry? They've both been known to blow a little dope."

"What do you call suicide committed while shitting? Seppooku."

"Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body."