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Joke of the Day

"DON'T BREATHE! Studies show that 100% of humans that have died have inhaled oxygen at least once in their life."

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"

"Women are like Siberian Tigers... They're both very pretty to look at, and you can have a lot of fun with each IF they're unconscious, but if its a live one, keep it the *hell* away from me."

"I am starting a website called Kickfarter where people pay me to not fart."

"Mexican & Black jokes are all the same, once you've heard Jaun, you've heard Jamal."

"Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen."

"It started with a star and ended with a restraining order."

"http://reddit.com/r/MensRights/"

"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead..."

"So I have half a joke about a guy, Who is really shook up about his Parkinson's diagnosis... But I just cant quite put my finger on the punchline."