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Joke of the Day

"2 Owls 2 owls are sitting in a tree. First turns to the second and says, ""Did you hear Bill's getting a divorce?"" The second Owl replies, ""Who?"""

"Just told my four year old daughter there's a skeleton inside of her and made her cry."

"American Dance Music haha"

"I used to sleepwalk all the time, but now I mix in a little sleepweightlifting a few times a week."

"Don't get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos."

"You know, sometimes bad things happen to exactly the right people."

"The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"On Pedophile Opposite Day they go to army bases to have sex with Majors."

"Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest escaped with minor injuries. (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)"