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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar... He says ouch."

"Little Timmy's house cough on fire Timmy wanted to be the hero and grabbed his squirt gun. Do you know what happened to Timmy? He drowned! Moral of the story: Don't be a hero."

"You know you're diplomatic when... you can tell someone to go to hell in a way that makes them look forward to the trip."

"Ghost pirate What did the pirate's ghost say to his girlfriend? I love your Boo-ty"

"Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? A. There is cheese in front of the mouse."

"Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?"

"What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe? He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy."

"What's the best part of being a lesbian in 1912? Both got seats on the titanic's lifeboats."

"Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you."

"What happens when you sit on a grape? It gives out a little wine!"