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Joke of the Day

"What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted? ""Make it Tso's Number One."""

"From Neil Gaiman's ""Sandman"" A woman is crying on the street: ""HELP! I've been reaped!"" ""You mean raped?"" asked a man. ""No! he used a scythe!"""

"PATIENT: Someone gave me pills at a party and my stomach hurts DR: We took x-rays. You have spongy dinosaurs expanding inside you right now"

"Amusing roller skating falls collection. That's very interesting and amusing video"

"Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer? He wanted someone who understood *capitals* and *lower* case."

"What was the best thing before sliced bread? Massive sandwiches"

"What is the suicide emergency hotline number in Brazil? 127 Edit: [for clarification](http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/round=255955/match=300186474/)"

"Malaysian food is the best! Because it goes down easily"

"Why did the feminist get raped? Cuz she 'asked' for it!"

"Drinking this No More Tears shampoo is just making me sadder."