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Joke of the Day

"her: I have this weird fantasy where my man shaves me while I sleep me: k her: *wakes up with no eyebrows"

"What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? See you next month."

"The first time I've had sex was like the first time I rode my bike My dad was holding me from behind"

"There was once man..... That was really strong. He also loved drinking punch. That was the reason he went to parties. His name? Juan. Juan Punch Man. Edit: he's Mexican"

"Did you hear Microsoft have started giving away Office free to parents? Word to your mother."

"Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous You're practically begging for typos."

"What's the difference between Batman, and a black man? Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"A lot of guys found Princess Leia attractive... ...but for me she ticks Alderaan boxes."

"How do you defeat an American? Don't do anything, just place a mirror in front of them and see as they squirm."