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Joke of the Day
"What's every movie critic's favorite cooking ingredient? Michael Bay Leaves."
Next Joke
"Women belong in the house... ...and the senate too"
"I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, ""1920x1080""."
"Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,""So! What religion are you in for?"""
"I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day. Abort* Sorry, I hate auto correct."
"""2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let's fornicate!!!"" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics."
"Nothing angers me more than a prematurely broken shell in my Taco Kit."
"Hear toddler having meltdown at Target Me: Parents should control their kids! Cashier: Isn't she yours? Me: C: I saw her come in with you."
"Laugh while you can, 2016... ...you're next."
"If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black."