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Joke of the Day

"""2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let's fornicate!!!"" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics."

"Why didn't Jesus get into college? Because he got nailed on the boards."

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it."

"Did you guys hear about the new metal band playing at the winery this evening? They're called Grapes of Wrath."

"I told my therapist I don't wanna see her anymore. She said from what she's learned, that means I'll fuck her 3 more times."

"Did you hear about the farmer you ploughed his field with a steamroller ? He wanted to grow mash potatoes!"

"Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers in the winter time? To keep Hillary's chin warm!"

"me: [trying to sound cool] I'm in a punk band cute co-worker: that's cool. What the band's name? me: [looking over desk for ideas] Inbox(29)"

"Help I lost my coat! I hope someone didn't jacket!"

"""Women are crazy!"" ""Did one try to murder you unprovoked?"" ""No I just disappeared from her life with no notice & she went all PSYCHO on me."""