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Joke of the Day

"Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing"

"I heard your mom won a gold medal! I didn't even know they had sumo wrestling at the Olympics!"

"*on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*"

"Two Lesbian Vampires have just had sex.... and one says to the other: ""Same time next month?"""

"what do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? What do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? They are both pussies who were discovered on the internet."

"A lady was looking for a turkey... A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy ""Do these turkeys get any bigger?"" The stock boy replied ""No they're dead."""

"I can't tell if I'm going bald... or if it's all in my head."

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in tendifferent puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately,no pun in ten did."

"How does a white lady fix a flat tire? She buys a new car."

"A Woman's place is not in the kitchen Cause that's where all the knives are."