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Joke of the Day
"Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing"
Next Joke
"What breathes out but never in? Your asshole"
"My tombstone will read I should have googled it first."
"If we've learned one thing from this whole Ray Rice ordeal, it's that... ...you should always take the stairs."
"My credit card was stolen yesterday... Not sure if I should report it, the thief is spending a lot less than my wife normally does."
"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks"
"What Metallica song does Captain America hate? Trapped Under Ice."
"If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference."
"If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead, I would choose someone who is dead so I didn't have to listen to them chew."
"Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth"