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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me what I thought about internet message boards. I said, I'm all forum."

"""Kiss me"", moaned the attractive blonde... ""Absolutely not"", replies her doctor. ""It would be most unprofessional of me. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be fucking you!"""

"""No, there's no way!"" I totally could ""No you couldn't!"" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich"

"Nobody cares about the Jews Hitler and his men are having a meeting, Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown. Men: Why the clown? Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!"

"Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road? To put the bones on the other side."

"Who killed the Corn Flake? The cereal killer..."

"Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses."

"Who plays center forward for the vampire football team? The ghoulscorer."

"If there's 'Extra Virgin' olive oil, there has to be a 'Dirty Slut' variety as well"

"GF: ""You're cute when you're drunk"" Me: ""You're cute when I'm drunk too"""