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Joke of the Day

"""Kiss me"", moaned the attractive blonde... ""Absolutely not"", replies her doctor. ""It would be most unprofessional of me. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be fucking you!"""

"A bunch of bats are hanging on a tree branch... BAT A: Hey look at Harry he's hanging the other way up!! (like a bird) BAT B: He's been having these fainting spells all week."

"Got late on my first day at work, blamed it on Rush Hour. Got late on the 2nd day, Blamed it on Rush Hour 2"

"Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ? Because he always burns the franks."

"Today I learned my laser pointer can go all the way to the bar across the street. Drunk people still think there's a sniper somewhere."

"what qualifies a woman in hollywood for disability benefits? ""A"" cup"

"Dear Neighbours, ""She's coming"" isn't a great warning to give when I walk by and you stop talking."

"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said... ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""

"Why did the Hispanic become a mathematician? It takes Juan to know one."

"Facebook should make an option, to block people from tagging me in videos/pictures that have nothing to do with me."