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Joke of the Day

"Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works."

"What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' catholic."

"Not realizing today's date, I just made a Pearl Harbor joke to someone... Needless to say, it bombed."

"I thought Snapchat was just a conversation with a sassy black woman."

"what's th difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"Is it official now that Glenn Frey is running on empty? Too soon I know, I'm so sorry! My friend just said this and I couldn't help but laugh."

"Fact Every 60 seconds in Ukraine a minute passes"

"Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils."

"I had some stir-fry delivered. I don't really like liver."

"monica lewinsky had one job.... and she sucked at it."